Finding the Fairytale
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Sometimes the fairytale isn't all it's cracked up to be. Second in the "Happily Ever After" story arc. FOURSHOT. First story was "God Save the Queen". Pairings are being established.
1. Chapter 1

**Finding the Fairytale**

**Chapter One**

She wanted desperately to kick her mother.

Oh, not hard enough to inflict any damage. That'd be wrong. She just wanted to nudge hard enough to let her maternal role model know how colossally stupid it had been to read her all those fairytales as a child.

Cinderella should have kept her damn shoes on her feet and used them climb the corporate ladder. Rapunzel should have found a freaking stylist who knew how to use a pair of scissors…or pruning shears, if necessary! And Snow White should have left those shorties to clean up their own pigsty!

Shaking her head as she sank into the chair behind her desk, Jennifer Jareau shook her head morosely.

It wasn't any wonder she was bitter. Her own alleged Prince Charming had been a dud. A complete waste of her valuable time. Sure, she couldn't completely regret the effort she'd put into their relationship. She'd gotten her beautiful little boy, after all, and he was worth any amount of pain. But the lesson remained: just because a man came wrapped in an attractive package...said the right words at the appropriate times...it did NOT mean that that diamond ring hovered on the horizon. More often than not, it was just a useless replica...cubic zirconium.

Evidently the Prince never wanted the Princess to outshine him in the castle.

And seriously, if Will LaMontagne had been Fate's version of the perfect man, destined to fulfill her hopes and dreams, those fickle bitches deserved a bitch slap across the face.

Then, let's not forget the current bastard stomping around her life in his tarnished armor. Sir Galahad, David Rossi definitely wasn't!

Oh, she'd bought into his seemingly altruistic motives when he'd approached her a few weeks ago about the possibility of yet another change in career. She'd listened as he'd talked about stability and support. She'd even bought into his whole, "We've got to save Hotch from himself, JJ," routine.

But as she stared down at the endless array of folders, files and forms littering her desk, she suspected that the only person he'd been interested in saving was himself.

It was obvious that she had fallen victim to the master of manipulation. And she was not going to forget this little lapse in judgment any time soon. Oh, no. David Rossi was going to be drawn and quartered…and she was going to be the one doing the carving this time around.

Flicking her pen against the edge of a file, she let out a sigh as she reached for yet another bureaucratic form that could only be described as redundancy in triplicate. Angrily scribbling her name on the appropriate line, she wondered if it was too late to claim temporary insanity. For that was the only reason she could think of that would describe how she had allowed herself to be hoodwinked into becoming a glorified file clerk with a golden title.

Frowning as she stuffed the form back into the nearby file, she reached for its twin just as she heard a tap at her door. Not even bothering to look up, she called out through clenched teeth, "Enter. At your own risk."

"That's not joy I hear in your voice," a deep familiar voice teased from her doorway.

Lifting her head, JJ's eyes sparkled as she glared at her newest visitor. "You," she snarled.

"'It is, indeed," Dave returned evenly, stepping into the office and closing the door behind him. "Why do I sense that this might be a bad time?" he asked, his twinkling eyes betraying his innocent tone.

"Probably because I think I just finished the form verifying how many times you take a leak during the day," JJ snapped, slamming her fountain pen against the blotter on her desk. Narrowing her eyes dangerous, she shook her head slowly. "I'm not sure, but I think I could easily hate you right now, Rossi."

"Ouch," Dave winced dramatically, pressing a hand to his heart. "It's not like I brought down the locusts or the plagues here, JJ. I scored you a very nice promotion," he pointed out helpfully. "And some nice new digs," he said, nodding around her office.

"They should be," JJ ground out. "Especially since I virtually live here signing pointless forms," she said, lifting a stack of papers to illustrate her point. "I think I finally understand why Strauss always appeared to have a stick shoved up her ass," JJ mused tiredly. "This desk sucked the life out of her!"

"Now, now," he chided with a wagging finger, "It's a poor workman...erhmmm...woman... that blames her tools. I'm sure that desk and those files have nothing but good and happy thoughts about you."

Narrowing her eyes, JJ grabbed the nearest file as she snapped, "I'm going to take this file and shove it up your ass. Then we'll see who's got the happy thoughts around here."

"Violence does not become you, Jennifer," Dave said ever so seriously, failing to hide the grin that was threatening to overtake his lips. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that you were slightly disgruntled this fine evening."

"Quit looking like the cat that swallowed the canary, Rossi," JJ ordered as she slammed the file back to the desk, knocking over a swaying stack of forms in the process. Ignoring the flying papers, she demanded, "And tell me you didn't just come in here to gloat at your ability to con someone else into paperwork hell."

"Look, somebody had to get rolled under that oncoming freight train, and I was definitely not the man for the job," he declared with an unapologetic shrug.

"I knew it!" JJ growled, pointing a finger at him. "You set me up! Or more specifically, you set me up to save yourself from bureaucratic hell on earth!"

Snorting, he pulled back the chair in front of her desk and easily sat down, idly crossing his legs as he returned her the glare flashing from her eyes with a wink. "You needed a change, Jen. You hated State. Will left because he felt like he had an inferior dick next to those brass balls you've grown. You needed to come back to the family. We both know it was time for you to come home. So, I arranged it," he explained with a yawn.

"And saved yourself from this nightmare," JJ said, slamming her hands over the paperwork littering her desk.

"Well, that...and your ass looks much better in a skirt than mine," he added as he smiled wickedly.

"Asshole," JJ muttered, beginning to neaten the piles on the surface of her desk. "Are you here for a reason or did you just come in here to piss me off?" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Finding the Fairytale**

**Chapter Two**

Stretching out his long legs and crossing them at the ankles, Dave shifted down in his chair and clasped his hands over his waist. "As much as I enjoy our little sparring matches, I did in fact come in here with an agenda."

"I think you've proven that you always have an agenda, Rossi," JJ muttered, glancing up at him as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "And trust me, if your nefarious plans involve me bending over for the Director again this week, you're gonna walk away sadly depressed. I filled my quota for whoring this week when I captured a third of Red Cell's former operational budget for our usage."

"Nicely done," Dave complimented as he grinned. "See, I would never have had that kind of influence."

"What can I say?" JJ shrugged as she frowned. "My ass is hotter than yours."

"Amen," Dave nodded appreciatively.

Rolling her eyes, JJ resisted the urge to groan. Sir Galahad was rapidly morphing into Hugh Hefner. And if she didn't act fast, she was pretty sure Larry Flynnt would be making an appearance soon if the gleam in those dark wicked eyes was any indication. "What. Do. You. Want?" she said, biting out each word.

Propping his hand on his chin, Dave stared at the stunning woman across from him. He really had struck gold when it occurred to him that she'd be the perfect addition to Erin Strauss' former office. "We had a meeting. Remember?"

Glancing at her calendar, JJ frowned. "No, we had a meeting scheduled. That changed when Hotch had to fly to New York after his brother's car wreck. He won't be back for another week."

"He just landed," Dave corrected. "I thought the Director knew all things at all times," he teased lightly.

"Well, she might if she didn't spend so much time channeling a preschool teacher. Seriously, today alone, I had to separate Garcia and Morgan three times and keep our newest agent from defiling Dr. Reid's Fountain Trilogy in retribution for a physics trick gone horribly wrong!"

"I heard," Dave chuckled. "Last I heard and saw, Ashley's face still had a nice blue tinge to it."

Pursing her lips, JJ shook her head. "Not funny. It's a bullpen, Rossi. Not Romper Room. Then," she continued resolutely, gaining speed, "I had to break Penelope's heart when I told her that there was absolutely no way I could find room for Red Cell's ex-con in our budget."

"The Prophet will land on his feet," Dave commented as he shrugged. "He always has."

"Tell Garcia that," JJ ordered. "I dare you," she smiled sweetly. Sighing heavily as she leaned back in her chair, she ordered, "Remind me what this meeting was supposed to be about."

"Well, in an hour and a half, we're supposed to deliver Seaver's performance review. And you, my dear, are supposed to have reached a decision on her future with the unit."

Groaning, JJ massaged her temples. "Dave..."

"Look, JJ, I know she's green, but she's got potential. I know you haven't been around long enough to see it, but there's something there."

"Beyond the fact that you feel bad for putting her serial killer father behind bars?" JJ asked, arching an eyebrow.

"That's irrelevant." Dave shook his head. "The kid deserves a shot. And you just admitted that you'd procured the funds to cover her salary for the next year."

Clearing her throat, JJ picked up her pen, tapping it against the desk. Hell, she wasn't accustomed to making executive decisions...especially when they would decide a young woman's future. In the fucking fairytale, everything just magically came together, didn't it? "I hear you, Dave," JJ said quietly. "But, not everyone shares the faith you have in her."

"Wanna give me a name?" Dave asked conversationally.

"Hotch," JJ said decisively, not pulling any punches as she met Dave's eyes. "Based on the short conversation we had regarding the team before he had to go on leave, he's got concerns. And they sounded well founded."

"Hotch always plays it safe, JJ," Dave pointed out, well aware of his unit's chief's concerns. Hotch had not been the least bit reticent in sharing his thoughts, and Dave doubted that characteristic would change any time soon.

"He does that for a reason and you know it," JJ said loyally. "Might I remind you that one of the reasons you wanted me in this position was because you said that I was one of the few people besides you that understood why Hotch thinks the way he does."

"I know," Dave conceded quietly.

"Look, he didn't say he wanted her gone," JJ remarked truthfully, tilting her head as she tried to release a kink in her neck. "He just has concerns about Agent Seaver's ability to distance herself from the victims. Are you gonna sit there and tell me that you haven't seen her struggle with it?"

"You know I have," Dave replied evenly. "And she's working on it. Face it, Jen. That girl needs a family, too," he offered, appealing to the maternal side of the woman in front of him...the side he admired...the part of her that made her so special.

"Can I remind you that I already have a child?" JJ grumbled, narrowing her eyes. "Two, if you count Reid...and let's face it, Dave. We all have to count Reid."

"We do," Dave agreed. "But I think we can handle Ash, Jen. She's got a good head on her shoulders...and her instincts are spot on."

JJ nodded. "Hotch told me."

"The final decision is yours, JJ, regardless of what Hotch and I say," Dave acknowledged.

"If I agree to keep her on, she needs to know my expectations of her. With no interference from either of you," JJ stressed, keeping her eyes leveled on him.

"Agreed," Dave assented, crossing his legs as he shifted in his chair.

"And you're right, there is room in the budget to fund her position," JJ nodded, her pen bouncing against the blotter thoughtfully. Looking up as a sound knock landed against the wood, JJ invited, "Come in."

"You really need to look into getting an assistant, JJ," Dave informed her as he grinned. "Every queen needs a handmaiden."

"You want me to have a handmaiden or do you want your team to have a profiler?" JJ retorted as her door opened.

"Am I interrupting?" a familiar voice asked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: A big thank you to all our readers reviewing our stories. If stupid ff would allow me to reply, I would! At any rate, keep an eye on the forum for our upcoming next challenge. And if you have any posts you'd like to see a thread on, please let us know!**

**Finding the Fairytale**

**Chapter Three**

"Hotch!" JJ smiled from her desk. "Come in. And help find a way to resist finding Strauss' broomstick and shoving it up Rossi's a-..."

"Ah, ah, ah," Dave wagged a finger. "Those aren't attractive words coming from our Section Chief."

"Yeah, and she took the broom with her, I think," Hotch offered with a rare smile.

"Thanks, Aaron," Dave remarked wryly, shooting a dark look over his shoulder. "Might I remind you both that I did what was best for all of us...the collective good and all that."

"But mostly for yourself," Hotch snorted, dropping into the chair beside Dave. "Sorry I'm late, JJ. Traffic."

"Actually, you're a week early," JJ offered, raising an eyebrow at her former boss. "Your leave was supposed to be two weeks."

"My brother is getting around fine with his crutches and too much time in my family's company..."

"Enough said," JJ said, holding up a hand. "We're glad to have you back. Maybe you can keep me from killing this sneaky bastard," JJ nodded to Rossi.

"And here I thought she'd be grateful," Dave said with a beleaguered look at Hotch.

"I tried to warn you," Hotch murmured, arching one brow as he glanced over at his teammate.

"You knew?" JJ growled, narrowing her eyes on Aaron Hotchner. "You knew what he was up to?"

"Suspected," Hotch corrected quickly. "We'd had a passing conversation when Strauss told me she was leaving. At the time, I had no idea it was going to be on a permanent basis."

"You both just made it on my list," JJ muttered, tapping her fingernails against the edge of her desk.

"I've always been on the list," Rossi said proudly as he grinned at Hotch.

"I wouldn't brag about that," Hotch said, his voice low as he shot a wary look at JJ's tightening lips. "Have you ever actually seen JJ blow before, Dave? It isn't exactly a party."

"Hotch, the woman tried to emasculate me on my first case out with the Unit. I'm familiar with her wrath, but surviving three ex-wives taught me how to duck and weave."

"Against a bullet?" JJ asked conversationally.

Clearing his throat before JJ actually decided to locate her sidearm, Hotch shifted in his seat. "What time is Seaver due to meet you, JJ?"

Consulting her day planner again, JJ sighed. "Seven." Looking between the two men, JJ murmured, "We all need to get on the same page here. Since I've only really consulted with her on one case, I'm not in a great position to judge. Which means, I'm relying on you two. What's the verdict? I've heard your concerns, Hotch. I've heard Rossi vouch for her. What do you want?"

Looking at Dave, Hotch asked seriously, "You really think Seaver can hack the pressure over the long haul?"

"With the proper training, yeah, I do," Dave agreed as he nodded.

Turning back to JJ, Hotch nodded slowly. "Okay, she's in if you sign off on it."

Inclining her head, JJ replied, "I won't make the final determination until I speak with her. But, it's my ballgame, boys. No interference from either of you," she ordered. Seeing both men nod, she glanced at the clock. "It's close enough to seven. I'm going to call her in. You're both welcome to stay, but I ask you to allow me to lead the discussions."

Again seeing both men incline their heads, JJ reached for the phone.

**/***/**

Ashley Seaver nervously straightened her jacket as she stood outside the intimidating door of her new Section Chief. She didn't know Jennifer Jareau. Oh, she'd heard her colleagues sing her praises loud and proud. She'd met the woman a few times.

And most importantly, she knew that Agent Rossi and Agent Hotchner respected and valued her.

And that spoke volumes. Those two men were not easily impressed. Ashley should know. She'd been attempting to impress them both from the moment she'd had the opportunity to join the team on that first case all those months ago.

Glancing down at her wide-faced watch, she drew in a deep breath. Showtime, Seaver, she told herself with a nod as she rapped softly on the closed door. It wouldn't do to be late for this appointment. Not at all.

The door opened a scant second later, and Ashley smiled nervously as she met the bright blue eyes of her new Section Chief.

"Agent Seaver," JJ said, ushering the young woman into her office and closing the door with a click. "Thank you for joining us."

"Yes, ma'am," Ashley said, bobbing her head deferentially and grimacing as she watched the cornflower blue eyes of her new boss darken a shade.

"Didn't we already have that conversation, Agent Seaver?" JJ asked, her lips twitching as she raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry," Ashley winced, immediately recognizing her faux pas. "Habit," she offered lamely.

"Break it," JJ advised patiently but firmly. "Sit down, Agent Seaver," JJ said, gesturing at the third chair in front of her desk. "I think you already know why we're here," she stated evenly.

Nodding, Ashley swallowed as she took her seat. Yeah, she knew. It was make or break time for her with this elite team. Glancing at the neutral expressions surrounding her, she couldn't gain an inkling of how this was going to play out.

"First off," JJ said, flipping open Ashley's personnel file as she settled behind her desk, "I've got to say that your academic scores are impressive. Some of the highest the Academy has seen in recent years."

"Thank you," Ashley said softly, clasping her hands in her lap to keep from fidgeting.

"Your analytical skills are on par with Reid's. That says a lot," JJ offered, glancing up at the younger woman.

"Yes," Ashley said as she nodded. "I enjoy the intricacies of analytical thinking." Blame it on my serial killer daddy dearest, she thought grimly.

"You joined this team at a tough time, Agent Seaver," JJ began sympathetically, closely watching the younger agent's face. "You were basically thrown into the fray. And I've got to say, that won't change. This is a fast paced environment and every agent is expected to adapt to any given situation. Our lives depend on it. We have to trust each other. Rely on each other. Even when we might not think our superiors are doing what we deem the best thing possible. In short, you have to follow orders. Are you following me?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note: We wanted you to know, we're on Facebook now. Look us up under "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and add away. It's just another way for we authors and readers to remain in contact!**_

**Finding the Fairytale**

**Chapter Four**

"I'm afraid I am," Ashley whispered. "I know I made some initial mistakes, Chief Jareau," she admitted, shooting a rueful look at her Unit Chief.

"Have you learned from them?" JJ asked bluntly, tapping her pen against Ashley's file.

"Yes, I'd like to think that I have," Ashley admitted as she nodded. Licking her lips, she continued, "I know that I identify with the victims. I also know that because of my...past...that's always going to be a struggle."

"The martyr complex could get you killed, Agent Seaver," JJ stated, her voice hardening deliberately. "Or worse, it could get the agent standing beside you killed. I'd advise you to find a way to deal quickly with those issues. I won't permit any agent under my authority to be placed into a tenuous situation by an agent with a misguided sense of nobility. YOUR job is to get the bad guy. To get justice for his or her victims. THAT'S how you can make amends. You focus on the case and follow orders."

"Yes, ma-...Yes, Chief Jareau," Ashley said quickly.

"I truly hope you understand me, Agent Seaver," JJ said seriously, her eyes boring into the anxious woman's. "I do believe in second chances and this is yours. You don't have to like my methods. In fact, I'm fairly certain you'll hate some of them."

"Chief Jar-"

Holding up a hand, JJ continued, "I do what it takes to get a job done, Ashley. If that means unbuttoning a button, hiking up a skirt or strapping on a gun, I do it. I don't make any apologies for it now, and I won't in the future."

"Chief Jar-..."

"Just call me JJ, Ashley," JJ directed, watching the younger agents face color slightly.

"The other day...I didn't mean any disrespect by what I said. I just was...shocked," she offered weakly.

"Ashley, let me let you in on a little secret," JJ smiled sweetly. Leaning forward, she lowered her voice. "There's not a man on this team that hasn't checked out your ass, my ass, Garcia's ass, and Emily's former ass, at least once."

Jaw dropping, Hotch coughed. "I hate to disagree, but I can honestly say that's untrue. At least for me."

"Sadly," Rossi sighed morosely, "He speaks the truth. But I intend to have the FBI docs test his testosterone level at their earliest convenience."

"Asshole," Hotch growled, glaring at his best friend.

Rolling her eyes at the two men, JJ returned her stare to a now blushing Ashley. "Hotch aside, what I say is true. And you'll find that occasionally you'll be needed to use those...assets...to your advantage, be it in the field or in the office. I'm not suggesting you whore yourself out. But, I am saying that big girls learn how the game is played...and then, they play to win. Are we clear?"

Ashley nodded, shock still written in her eyes. "Yes. Absolutely."

"Good." JJ smiled. Flipping the file close, she declared, "Then, allow me to be the first to tell you that I'm extending your probationary period for another six months at the end of which time, we'll revisit your future within the BAU. Provided that you continue to improve, you'll officially become a permanent member of the team."

"Thank you," Ashley breathed in relief, her shoulders marginally relaxing as she let herself smile.

"Any questions?" JJ asked.

"No. None," Ashley shook her head, anxious to escape the boss's office.

"All right then. You're dismissed," JJ said as she smiled. "And Ashley," she said as the other woman reached the door.

"Yes?" Ashley asked, her knees weak with relief.

"I think you and I are going to get along just fine."

"Yes, ma...I mean, JJ." Ashley nodded before disappearing through the door.

Returning her gaze to the two remaining men, JJ cocked her head. "Everybody happy?"

"Impressive," Dave murmured, his eyes gleaming with admiration.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Hotch agreed, straightening his tie. "Although, for the record, I haven't looked at anybody's ass, JJ."

"It's okay, Hotch," JJ said with a scathing look in Dave's direction. "Rossi has looked enough for both of you."

"Hey," Dave said, holding up his hands, "If you're gonna bend over, then I'm gonna..."

"Shut up," JJ and Hotch ordered in unison.

"Buzzkills. Both of you," Dave complained, flopping back against his chair.

Glancing at his watch, Hotch sighed, rising. "I need to pick up Jack from Jessica. I'll be in first thing in the morning."

"Good." JJ nodded. "Then, we'll hit the ground running."

"Sounds like a plan," Hotch agreed as he moved toward the door. "I'll see you both tomorrow," he said as he, too, departed.

"So," Dave said slowly as he grinned, wriggling his brows, "Looks like it's you and me again."

"Get out," JJ grumbled, her shoulders sagging as she looked down at the mountain of paperwork still left on her desk.

Whistling, Dave shuddered. "Damn, I think I just felt the ghost of Erin Strauss waft through here," he goaded, not making a single move to leave his chair.

"Keep it up and I'll start channeling her first cousin, Cruella de Ville," JJ threatened without looking up, just as her office door crashed open.

"Jayje! Thank God you're still here," Derek Morgan yelled as he stomped into his new chief's office.

Jerking upright at the intrusion, JJ's eyes widened. "Derek! What's going on?" she asked quickly, noting the wild look in his mocha colored eyes.

"You've got to do something!" he demanded urgently, pacing in front of her desk. "Like, yesterday!"

"Derek," JJ said calmly, drawing in a deep breath, "Slow down and tell us what's going on?"

"Slow down? I'd love to freaking slow down, but that little maggot boy is going full steam ahead. Buying a farm? Proposing? What the hell!"

Exchanging a look with Dave who merely shook his head blankly, JJ refocused on a vibrating Morgan. "Derek, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Baby Girl! My Baby Girl! Butt Boy asked her to marry him! And I think she's actually considering it, Jayje. You gotta do something! Enact that fraternization thingy that Strauss was always muttering about or something. Just put a stop to it!"

Blinking rapidly as she processed her irate friend's request, JJ shook her head. "Uhmmm, nooooo," she drawled, leaning back in her chair. "I don't think I'm gonna do that."

"What?" Derek yelped, halting dead in his tracks as he glared at her.

"I'm not going to interfere in Pen's personal life. That has to be her decision," JJ explained, wincing as Morgan's face darkened.

"But...but...there are rules..." he sputtered, his hands waving uselessly in the air.

"You know that old saying, Morgan," Dave added as he shrugged. "Some rules were meant to be broken," he said with a speaking glance at JJ.

"By some people," JJ amended quickly, her cheeks heating at the insinuation in his words. Turning back to Morgan, she said, "But that isn't even why I'm saying no. If you don't want Penelope to say yes to Kevin, Derek, then you need to tell her. Then, you need to tell her why."

"No, first you need to figure out why," Rossi offered wisely, trying not to laugh at the look of horror on Derek's face.

"Screw you, Rossi!" Derek spat, his brown cheeks reddening. " And, thanks, Jayje," Derek growled sarcastically, turning on his heel. "For a whole lotta nothing."

Sighing as her office door slammed again, JJ dropped her head to her desk and groaned, Dave's amused laughter echoing in her ears.

Where the hell was the exit on this fairytale ride from hell?

_**Finis**_


End file.
